up-LYFT-ing Return to NYC
A lesson in humility and privilege
We left for the airport early, knowing we would have to eat at an airport concession to make our flight. Scheduled for 8PM, it was delayed til !0, so we rebooked on the earlier flight to Atlanta, which was delayed from its 6PM departure. After boarding we taxi to the end of the runway and waited for 45 minutes before the captain came on the intercom to announce we were returning to the terminal. With no chance to make connections to Newark (even though that flight too was delayed), we bailed out and rescheduled.
Calling Lyft, we had a nice 20-something driver pick us up at the airport to take us home. She had a local country music station playing on the radio. I asked if the she liked country music. “I changed the station for you because I didn’t think you would like the kind of music I listen to.” She smiled in response. What kind is that I asked? “Hip Hop or R and B." “I’m down with that” said a smug old fart trying his best to be hip. She did not care for the hip-hop with violence, misogynistic, or mumbling where lyrics were unintelligible.
I asked what kind of music Lin-Manuel Miranda, creator of Hamilton, might be. “Would that be hip-hop?". She didn’t know who he is and was unaware of the musical hit on Broadway. I can suppose a young person might not be concerned with musical theater and Hamilton’s soundtrack has probably not made it to the contemporary radio rotation. But we learned that she probably has more pressing attentions than cultural entertainment.
Small talk about our travel plans led to us learning she was from New Jersey - Newark in fact. She’s in Tallahassee studying sociology at the community college with plans to transfer to FSU in the fall.
How humbling to learn more about her life, determination, goals and evident work ethic. She drives with Lyft to earn money when she is not working her full-time job or taking college classes.
When we told her the story of our boating acquaintance who sought medical attention at the Newark hospital ER and saw 3 separate gun shot victims arrive, she gave us a glimpse into her circumstance. She came to Tallahassee to live with her father when she was 15 to complete high school. Then she returned to Newark for a bit before enrolling in TCC. She soberly recounted that there was so much violence in the city - her grandmother, “who had never hurt anyone” was shot and killed, October 17, 2009. And later, her uncle was shot and died on the front steps of their apartment. She feels lucky to be safe in Tallahassee and grieved for her brother who was still stuck in Newark. She was clearly proud that she had the willful self respect to resist being consumed by the culture of drugs and violence that permeates Newark.
Nadijah was having a little trouble with her GPS and the detours on the way from the airport to our house. Lee helped her reset the pick up and destination on her Lyft App. As we re-routed through the detours, she continued her story in a matter of fact conversation, not seeking sympathy or accolades, but merely sharing her genuine autobiography
Lee asked what she would do with her sociology degree. This confident and determined young lady said she liked helping people. She works with special needs children with disabilities and some behavior problems and hopes to continue with that for awhile. But her real ambition is to create a place where youth who are troubled and involved with drugs can find a safe place and help to build productive lives. Not ruling out that she would also hope to expand to adult clients, but she "recognizes that the greatest chance for success is working with children to redirect their behavior to positive lives".
We were impressed and humbled that this young lady found courage to survive in a place so outside of our experience. We can only imagine what challenges she must have faced as a child. Excepting our cat-sitter police officer Ernest Ponce DeLeon who was killed in the line of duty, we have never known a citizen who was a victim of gun violence, much less lost two close relatives. And to have the wherewithal to change her circumstance to seek a better life and have the discipline to work at two jobs while pursing a college education is so exceptional and admirable.
It brings to mind how high one finishes depends greatly on where one starts. The advantages and disadvantages of family, race, or economic position are passed along like cultural genes. Although the extraordinary accomplishment of an individual in the spite of adversity are admirable, wouldn't it be great if the ordinary were in a society that supports success? How high could the extraordinary soar without the heavier burden?
It is heartening to meet a person that has a genuine desire to make a difference addressing the social ills she has witnessed and experienced. She summarized that she loved music, and thought music differentiated humanity among all animals - “No other species can sync with a musical beat in the way people can be affected by music.”
Her story is music to our ears. No doubt this young lady will succeed and make wonderful contributions to social welfare of the people she touches and we all will be better for it.
What a beautiful and inspirational encounter. By engaging with her and having such a meaningful conversation, you offered her support, respect, and affirmation. And she gave you a renewed faith in humanity. “Thanks for sharing.”
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